2009 through present...

From there to here. Time never stops. If it does, then we might assume and declare,you stopped breathing or someone clicked pause on the remote. Can we pause or do we keep pressing toward those ideas that drive us? I conclude that is is called "your passion." Have you found your passion; that thing that drives you, makes endure the toughest of circumstances? When you do you won't stop unless it is time to pause.

Silence...

I saw an incredibly funny Youtube video by a ventriloquist. I really laughed even though I am working through some rough times at work. Silence is one of those amazing words that can be empty and yet full. Talk about a dichotomy.

There are those times in life, I crave silence. It gives me energy. It allows me to sort things out. It provides direction as the chaos is left in the noise and clutter of life.

Yet, silence is frightening, unknown and energy sapping. It is frightening because I have limited to no control over the lack of desired noise. It is unknown because I am not the one who needs to make the noise. Both of these statements are directly related to the third idea of energy sapping. I loose energy as I wait for the silence to end. Maybe it is the anticipation? Sometimes I think it the anxiousness.

No matter your response, I find it is easier to end silence by taking necessary steps to neutralize or prevent continued silence. Sometimes this is humbling. Other times this is confrontational.

What about those times when I seem to be surrounded by silence, however in reality, it was my choices that created the silence? The solution to this one is to stop being stupid and create some noise by communicating. I find people respect me more as I face my misconceptions with them and this reduces the silence.

I know which ever it is, I find I gain energy by sucking it up and facing my silence. What about your silence? Did you create it? Are you loosing energy because you don't want to face reality...?

Choices...

Choices have an influence on all of us. There are those that want to create a continuum stating that there are either bad choices at one end and good choices at the other end. That appears to be a static approach to life.

What about if you don't make any choices? That could be neither good or bad because indecision leads to no where yet if I make a choice a least I've attempted to move in a direction. Some may argue that indecision is a bad choice. Maybe that indecision prevented you from stepping into traffic. What if indecision prevented you from running a red light?

What if there are multiple choices that I can make? I would picture that as a hub that has multiple spokes strung out from the center of the hub. This is much like a bicycle wheel. You are at the center and there are multiple choices that beg our input. The illustration isolates our choices one at a time. There is no room for a counter decision in this idea. In other words, I make a choice and live with it. The illustration could be interpreted as making a bunch of choices at one time and the results all go in multiple directions. I think life would be a wreck if this was our everyday model.

So what can I propose as I am thinking through this idea? I would propose our choices are like the letter "Y." We are all coming from some place headed in a direction. Our direction encounters the need to make a decision. Once I make that decision, my journey yields or moves me in a slightly different direction which is not radically one way or another as a continuum recommends. I have the ability to choose and see the results of one decision or another. The nice part about a "Y," I am able to make my decision and see results, however if a correction needs to be made because my results don't measure up to my expectations, I encounter another "Y" in my journey.

What would make me reflect on something so "out there?" My previous post mentions past decisions, sleeplessness, and 22 years of an empty spot in my life. I made choices that were made to the best of my ability 22 years ago. I did not see any good results in any of them, but I was faced with making some decision.

After 22 years, I received an email that created the most tender spot in my heart. It welled up with excitement, anticipation, fear, pain and love. Wow, multiple answers from lingering choices with no conclusions. Now, I was able to communicate with every part of deep honesty I could drum up in my persona.

I wish I would have posted the above before now. It was saved in my drafts since Aug. 29, 2009. What are the choices in your life that the "Y" could let you move forward?